Absolute Living

My Fasting Journal - Day 31

2006-05-19T12:11:00.000-05:00

May 18th, 2006 Thursday
Weight= 115lbs

Woke up feeling great!

I had a few figs (soaked in water overnight) in the morning. At first, the fig tasted delicious. Then, I started to feel that it was too sweet for my taste. After eating four tiny figs, I felt I was stuffed to my throat!!

It’s amazing how little food our bodies need to sustain. We constantly stuff ourselves with unnecessary bigger portion of food and over-work our digestive system. As every part of our body is connected, different problems arise from unhealthy way of eating. Just like what I've learned from the movie, "Ayurveda, The Art of Being",- In this modern world, many people suffer from the disease of excess.

For dinner, I had a very small green salad with a little dressing. I thought, “Great! Finally I can taste some different flavors.” But, to my surprise, I didn’t like the sour, salty taste of the dressing. The taste was almost irritating to me. I totally didn’t expect this. My taste buds were super sensitive!

My body was craving for the fresh fruit juice.

I will definitely try not to overcook food from now on.

I cleared out my fridge and pantry; one big bag of trash! There were foods that I’ve totally forgotten that they existed.

This is the last day that I am writing this journal. This fast has been a great experience. I plan to do it every year. Am I going to be a vegetarian? I wish I could, but I can't give up seafood. Life should be fun. :-) and gourmet food from different cultures makes our lives much more interesting.

I am off to a new adventure with positive attitude and healthier body. I am feeling happy and very content.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 30

2006-05-17T23:46:00.000-05:00

May 17th, 2006 Wednesday
Weight= 115lbs

Yeppi yeppi!

I felt like today was the beginning of a whole new life!

I still had to follow the fasting menu today, except that I didn’t have to strain the juice. Also, I could eat an apple in the morning! What a great way to start up my stomach engine!

First bite into the organic apple was amazing. I felt kind of weird to taste one particular flavor of food (after having mixed fruit juice/veggie broth for 30 days) and to start chewing again. My taste buds were very sharp in defining the taste. It is hard to explain. It was like the buds were starting to get to know apple all over again, and to know how great it tasted like.

I will still be taking clarkia for the next two weeks. Also, I added flax seeds and oat bran to my potassium broth. Whoa, there were textures in the food.

Haha. Everybody gotta try this fast!

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My Fasting Journal - Day 29

2006-05-17T23:29:00.000-05:00

May 16th, 2006 Tuesday
Weight= 115lbs

Today was the last day of my fast. I will start coming out of the fast tomorrow. It will take five days to break the fast.

I am really glad that I went through this fast. Looking back, it has been an “incredible” journey. Food is such a big part of our lives. We socialize around food. So often, we take it for granted. We forget why we eat. Coming out from this fast, I appreciate my hard-working body more, and will want to listen to it more often. Our bodies tell us what food is nourishing and what’s not.

I lost 10 lbs. Average; we carry five to ten pounds of toxins in our body. So, I really don’t mind to have lost the weight. I didn’t need the junk in my body. I will gain some weight back shortly, and will expect to be healthier.

Anybody can do this fast. It’s more mentally than physically. Oh yeah!!!

Read:
"People don't realize that the chief obstacle to fasting is overcoming the cultural, social and psychological fears of going without food. These fears are ingrained. . . .However, fasting is not starving, not even in a medical sense or the natural sense." Dr. George Cahill of Harvard Medical School emphasized the point:

"Man's survival [of long abstentions from food] is predicated upon a remarkable ability to conserve the relatively limited body protein stores, while utilizing fat as the primary energy producing food."

Nobel Prize-winnning Fr. biologist and surgeon Dr. Alexis Carrel, who spent 34 of his professional years in the United States, described in his magnum opus, Man, The Unknown, the body's brilliant rejuvenative and regenerative capability, inherent in its own detoxification process vis a vis scientific fasting: "Privation of food at first brings a sensation of hunger, occasionally some nervous stimulation, but it also determines certain hidden phenomena which are more important. The sugar of the liver and the fat of the subcutaneous deposits are mobilized, and also the proteins of the muscles and the glands. . .in order to maintain blood, heart, and brain in a normal condition. Fasting purifies and profoundly modifies our tissues."

Based on my experience, the lines above are absolutely true.

Now, I feel happier, and more confident. It’s an amazing feeling!!! Would I fast again in the future? Definitely! Once per year would be great!

Tomorrow I can start coming out from my fast. Well, I can’t eat processed food until the fifth day. But, eating an apple tomorrow, it’s huge for me. I wonder how I would feel to start chewing again after 30 days.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 28

2006-05-16T22:50:00.000-05:00

May 15th, 2006 Monday
Weight= 116lbs

I hope hog confinement operation will never come near to Fairfield. Fairfield is such a unique and lovely community. It will be a shame if this community got destroyed by the horrible hog confinement SH*t.

Day 28th! Hey, almost there! :- ) so proud of myself.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 27

2006-05-15T19:20:00.000-05:00

May 14th, 2006 Sunday
Weight= 116lbs

Panini maker is great! I have been making sandwiches left and right. What a great investment!

The weather has been wet for a few days- free water for the plants. : -)

I ordered clarkia for parasite cleanse.

Karan left for San Antonio today. I missed the moments of sharing good meals with him.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 26

2006-05-14T15:16:00.000-05:00

May 13th, 2006 Saturday
Weight= 116lbs

Today was supposed to be the day that I started coming out of my fast. However, Francis recommended that I fast for a few more days because based on his experience, some worms died on day 28/29. I reluctantly agreed. So, five more days.

I was on a mission to find my passion. What makes my heart sing? I have been thinking about it.

I want to have a business that makes meaning. It doesn’t have to be a multi-million dollar business. I want to share my passion for environment and beauty with people. The general direction would be “revitalize body, mind and soul”. I was very happy with what I came out with.

Sage Mountain (www.sagemountain.com) is an amazing place. I checked out their Apprentice Program and Plant Lover’s Journey. They are pretty interesting. I want to try my best to join a few of their Plant Lover’s Trips in the coming years. That’s what I want.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 25

2006-05-13T17:14:00.000-05:00

May 12th, 2006 Friday
Weight= 116lbs

Kai turned one today! How time has passed. He happily received a new toy today. Even though Kai is one year old now, he still likes to climb up to Karan’s laps to receive pampering. He doesn’t realize that he weighs 75 lbs. :-)

"Body + Soul" magazine came today. I enjoy reading this magazine a lot. Some lines from this issue:

"Never become too sophisticated to experience simple joys or too busy to spread the joy around."

“When we open our hearts to positive change, we reap the rewards that come with new possibilities.”

“Love nourishes your soul; passion ignites it.”

“Take pleasure in other’s happiness, as it will augment your own.”

“Passion originates in the heart. By focusing on yourself, you’ll restore the connection between head and heart, thereby improving your ability to feel – a necessary ingredient for experiencing your joy.”

“Perfection doesn’t exist when it comes to passion. Just choose one thing that gets your juices flowing and act on it, whether you think you’ll be good at it or not. The idea is to get started so you can see where this next phase of the journey leads you.”

What's your passion?

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My Fasting Journal - Day 24

2006-05-12T13:24:00.000-05:00

May 11th, 2006 Thursday
Weight= 116lbs

I have always wanted to own a successful business. I did start one. As I begin developing my business, there are unforeseen threats that shake my confidence. I am grounded by new reality.

This fast has really helped me to understand myself more. I know that once I am convinced that something would work, I will surrender to it 100% and really committed to reach the goal.

For my business, I have given it lots of thoughts. I am not a natural business woman, terrible at marketing (well, at least I know my weakness). A lot of friends have been really supportive, giving me advice and help. I am so appreciative of that. It’s really fortunate to be surrounded by good people. The problem is on my side. I haven’t surrendered to my business idea yet. What’s the objective of my business that will accomplish in my life? How does my business benefit others? I need to find that voice in me that screams out, ”THAT’s what I want.” And what is “THAT”? I need to find out and I will. I need to reaffirm my commitment and create a new strategy to move forward.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 23

2006-05-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

May 10th, 2006 Wednesday
Weight= 116lbs

Elegant irises in my garden
– reminded me of Van Gogh

What do you do when an untrained dog suddenly pull on you during a walk? The answer is to always let him GO! It has been twice that I let my stupid dog pulled me and yesterday I fell hard on the sidewalk, all bruised up. Karan said that the scene looked like something came straight out from the Jackass show. I wasn’t sure if he thought it was funny or he felt my pain.

There were still moments that I was tempted to end my fast right away in order to taste the food that I’ve missed so much. I missed eggs, milk, salt, rice,.. the simplest food/spice of all. Hmm…

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My Fasting Journal - Day 22

2006-05-10T17:10:00.000-05:00

May 9th, 2006 Tuesday
Weight= 116lbs

Karan mentioned to me that I was more short-tempered than usual. Well, I could use a little bit of pampering during my fast. Maybe he could be sweeter to me, instead of bossing me around all the time.

There was still stuff coming out when I did enema. How could our stomach store that much junk? Unbelievable.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 21

2006-05-09T17:07:00.000-05:00

May 8th, 2006 Monday
Weight= 117lbs

I felt that my heart was beating quite fast the whole afternoon (there sure weren’t any hot guys walking by). Karan said it must be the worms in my stomach were complaining, struggling and dying. Ah, so much of his input. I measured my resting heart rate, it was 64 per minute. So, it was quite normal. But somehow I felt a little hard to breathe. I wasn’t sure why. No biggie.

I changed my mind on my Thailand trip. I decided to go since I have purchased the air tickets early this year for my youngest sister and I. I just booked the accommodation. It should be fun. I plan to stop by my sister’s place in KL on the way for a few days. I am dying to see my sister’s pregnant look. Haha.

It's always great to go home. The only downside is my parents' constant nagging on my marriage plan and their wishes of me settling down in Malaysia. Marriage? It would be nice, but I am not ready yet. Maybe another couple more years, or three, four years… who knows, maybe never. I will wait till the right feeling comes.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 20

2006-05-07T22:33:00.000-05:00

May 7th, 2006 Sunday
Weight= 117lbs

Day 20th. Yeppi! I've definitely come a long way. Five more days before I can start coming out from my fast. My body needs about four to five days to start the “engine” in order to process solid food again. So, five days from now, I can eat an apple. Sounds good!

I made Karan lunch and dinner today. I was so proud of myself. I hope to eat out less often. I got better food at home!

I watched the movie Notting Hill for the first time. I have heard good things about this movie and it surely didn’t disappoint me.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 19

2006-05-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

May 6th, 2006 Saturday
Weight= 117lbs

Let me summarize my daily fasting routine.

1. First thing morning – drink one glass of potassium broth, take liquid vitamin B
2. Do enema
3. 10am: Hot tea
4. Noon: Fresh fruit juice (grapes + oranges + apples are divine!)
5. 3pm: Hot tea
6. 5pm: Fresh veggie juice (beet +cucumber + carrots+ a little of ginger is a good combination)
7. 8pm: Tea or juice
8. 10pm: Potassium broth

P/S: Clean tongue often, brush skin with dry brush before bath, exercise often.

Sounds pretty boring? Well, IT IS.

My ballet class today was good. I enjoyed it. I definitely need to exercise more. I read an article on metabolism. As we get older, we are losing muscles and that slows down our metabolism. I have high metabolism, and that’s why I can eat as much as I can without exercising much and still maintain the same weight. Pretty sweet huh. But now that I am getting older, I guess I would have to make a little more effort to keep the same level of metabolism.

My panini maker has arrived. I made Karan a nice panini for lunch. It was absolutely easy, took no time, and yet it was delicious. My sweet panini maker..

I watched MI3 and thought there was nothing special about it; the same old story plot and the same old Tom Cruise. No surprises. Boring.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 18

2006-05-05T23:54:00.000-05:00

May 5th, 2006 Friday
Weight= 117lbs

A lot of people wondered if I could focus on my work when I was fasting. The answer is yes. I get enough vitamins and nutrition during the fast. My body didn’t feel hungry, so I was not going crazy over hunger. The thought of food came to my mind was not because I felt hungry, it was just that I missed the taste of different kinds of food. All mind games.

I am missing home more and more. I can’t wait to go home at the end of summer. Home, sweet home. Every time I am away from my country, I appreciate it more. My home town, Kuching, what a casual city. People are so laid back and friendly. New restaurants and cafes keep popping out every month. It's not hard to tell that we enjoy eating out.

Although I have already booked my ticket from Kuala Lumpur to Thailand, I will cancel that plan. My sister is pregnant! I rather spend more time with her in KL. Thailand is always there for me to visit.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 17

2006-05-05T23:40:00.000-05:00

May 4th, 2006 Thursday
Weight= 117lbs

I reserved a space in my garden for herbs. I am growing green onions, basil, hot pepper, sage, lemon balm and rosemary (thyme, dill and paisley yet to come). How amazing would it be to pick fresh herbs the moment I need them in my cooking/drinks?

I have been thinking about food a lot “lately”. Today, a voice spoke to me. “You can’t be free if you are too attached to something”. To know about a philosophy is different than to be awakening from inside and then truly experience that knowledge. A lot of people spend years trying to get over heartache, trying to get a little more of “this” and “that”,… without realizing that we could be happy with what we have, right now. Learning how to let go, set us free. Just, let it go.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 16

2006-05-04T11:21:00.000-05:00

May 3rd, 2006 Wednesday
Weight= 117lbs

I had the worst sleep last night. I just couldn’t fall asleep. Maybe it was because I slept too late, at around 1am. I definitely have to sleep earlier today.

I gave Kai a nice bath and a pedicure. I didn’t think he cared much, but he should know that he get more pampering when he is nice and clean (and when he smells like baby!).

About three weeks ago, I re-arranged every singe piece of furniture in my study room. All furniture has furniture pads under it, so they were not that hard to move around. I really enjoy the new furniture arrangement. Now I spend triple more amount of time in my office than before. Karan came home and was surprised to see the new arrangement. “How did you do it?” haha. I just love to give surprises; they add spices to life.

I have been crazy about Italian food for a few days now. I watched Italian cooking shows and read one recipe after another. I was so pumped up that I wish I could put together a nice meal right away. Karan will be coming home tomorrow; maybe I can make him something nice.

I am sure I would feel funny when I read these blogs after the fast. Haha. All I talked about was food.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 15

2006-05-03T23:41:00.000-05:00

May 2nd, 2006 Tuesday
Weight= 117lbs

Wahoo! Day 15th! I wish I could open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. From now on, it’s only going to get easier and easier. ;-)

I used to get headache in the afternoon when I was not fasting. Now that I am fasting, I haven’t had a single headache so far! Really amazing.

I did some gardening in the evening and didn’t have dinner until 7pm (I usually had my dinner juice at 5.30pm). I felt light headed but no big deal.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 14

2006-05-02T15:42:00.000-05:00

May 1st, 2006 Monday
Weight= 118lbs

This is such a smart fast. Before the fast, I thought my weight was going to drop one pound per day until I was paper thin. But on day 14th, my weight was still 118lbs. I expect my weight to drop a couple more pounds in the next two weeks, but that’s it. I am really glad to lose all the junk from my body. I felt light and more productive.

Besides mental craving for food, physically I was doing fine. I didn’t even cheat a single time. Good girl! - giving myself a pat on my back.

I planned to have meal schedule set up for every week after my fast. In this way, I can plan ahead what to get from the grocery store and be better prepared for each meal. Also, I plan to make more breakfast at home. I hope that Karan and I can sit down for 15 minutes to enjoy our breakfast every morning before we go to work. Of course, the meal schedule will allow certain flexibility because I have had a hard time following a strict, boring schedule.

I bought a panini maker. I have been eyeing on this particular panini maker for a couple years and never felt the need to buy it. After I saw Giada made the most delicious panini using her panini maker. I instantly ordered one for myself as well. I think it was a good investment and I see myself using it often.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 13

2006-05-01T11:41:00.000-05:00

April 30, 2006 Sunday
Weight= 118lbs

I loved walking in the drizzle this morning. It was romantic and intimate. I felt that I was closer to the nature.

There was nothing eventful today. I worked on my business and watched a couple cooking shows. I get so inspired that I bought a few cooking gadgets and sauces online. I felt so creative that I wish I could cook something right away.

Karan called from Canada and warned me to go easy on food shopping.

Econo didn’t make my special veggie juice since the manager wasn’t there. So, I had to juice the veggies myself. I used to not like to juice the fruits at home because it was a pain to clean the juicer. After juicing everyday for more than a week now, I became pretty efficient, with no choice.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 12

2006-04-30T18:31:00.000-05:00

April 29, 2006 Saturday
Weight= 118lbs

Karan left for Vancouver this morning. He will then attend a month’s long of trade shows in “I lost count” number of cities. Luckily he will pop in and out of Fairfield a couple times when he can. Short separation definitely brings appreciation and longing. I think this is true in many cases (separate from food, you appreciate food more; separate from electricity, you appreciate the convenience of having electricity more, etc).

Ballet class got cut short today because Matt, the instructor needed to leave early. I’ve joined ballet class for a couple months now. It’s better to learn ballet when one is small because of the flexibility of the body. But I didn’t want to give up my chance in this life, so I tried. I wouldn’t think it was a pretty sight to see me moving clumsily across the dance floor, but as long as I enjoyed myself, what else should I care? By the way, I didn’t feel my energy level was low during the ballet class. Actually, it’s good to exercise during the fast.

I really wanted to learn Latin dance too. It’s too bad that there are not many options in FF. My good friend Zulfia gave me a short lesson in Salsa, and she was an excellent teacher. Shortly after the class, she moved to Chicago. :-(

Kai was crazy eating grass and any plant that he could get to (as if he has tunred into a goat) when I walked him in the evening. It was an abnormal behavior from him. I knew there must be a reason, so I checked on internet to find out that:

Dogs may eat grass when they have an upset stomach in order to cause vomiting. The grass will bind with the offending material. Then the grass acts as an irritant and causes the dog to vomit, bringing up the poisonous material at the same time.

Ah-Huh! Bingo. I knew dogs have ways of healing themselves. This morning, Kai had two portions of breakfast because I didn’t know Karan has fed him already. Of course, Kai, the food lover will rather stuff himself to death than saying no to food.

This fast is really no big deal now; auto-pilot.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 11

2006-04-29T16:47:00.000-05:00

April 28, 2006 Friday
Weight= 118lbs

This fast has definitely injected me with more interest on natural food and healthy living. I sorted out my pantry today; threw away some old junk, and made mental notes on what I have in the pantry. Sometimes I keep buying food and forget to use what I already have.

Karan’s lunch: ice and fire noodle soup
spicy tomato shrimp balls with cold shredded cucumber

Teddy came over for dinner tonight. I always enjoy good dinners with him. We broiled swordfish with marinate source that he bought from Texas. It smelled absolutely delicious. It was a nice dinner; salad, fish, dessert, wine and good conversations. The only thing was, I only had a cup of tea; no wine, no fish, no nothing. Oh boy, I gave myself a lot of credits for not breaking down.

I am a seafood freak; anything seafood. Clams, shrimps, lobsters, mussels, crabs, sea cucumbers, squids, scallops, fish, sashimi, … I love them all. I really can’t wait to go back to Malaysia later this year and enjoy all kinds of fresh seafood. Mmmm!

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My Fasting Journal - Day 10

2006-04-28T10:51:00.000-05:00

April 27, 2006 Thursday
Weight= 118lbs

Day 10 of my fast, not bad huh! I felt that my energy level was the same with or without fasting. Well, maybe a little less towards late evenings.

Sensation Lilac that I planted last year is blooming now

I got a new favorite website now, etsy.com. It’s a place to buy and sell all handmade items (books, soaps, art, photography prints, crochet, earrings, etc you name it). I checked out some items, they were ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. There are so many talented people out there! Their handmade stuff is unique, mind-blowing and even better than some branded items. I wonder why people pay bucks for branded items instead of supporting the unknown artists.

I read a very inspiring interview on Michael Douglas.

Q: What’s your secret to having a successful marriage?
A: Not taking it for granted. Sometimes you end up making more of an effort with strangers than you do with the people closest to you. You’re polite and nice to somebody you don’t give a damn and the person nearest to you, you tend to take it for granted.

Sunflower that I grew from seed is going strong

Isn’t it so true??

I watched the movie “Matchpoint” at night. The ending was unexpected. Excellent movie.

p/s: This was the 5th of my juice fast and I still get a little solid “junk” from enema. Wow!

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My Fasting Journal - Day 9

2006-04-27T11:35:00.000-05:00

April 26, 2006 Wednesday
Weight= 118lbs

It seemed like my weight has stabilized at 118 lbs. I thought I had more fat in my body.

Our house looked like an abandoned house because of the overgrown grass. Karan was my hero today. He mowed the lawn (for the first time in his life) while I trimmed the edges. The freshly mowed lawn looked so green and neat.

I bought a dry brush from Thymely Solutions. Part of the detox program is to brush my skin daily to get rid of the toxins. I felt good in spending a moment to pamper myself. Everyone should invest a little time on himself/herself everyday. It’s only when you feel good about yourself and with that confidence, you are able to give.

What brings two people together and what separates them? If I’ve done my best, then there’s no point worrying about other factors that I have no control over. Life takes everybody in directions that could be unpredictable. That’s life. Life goes on, so live it to the fullness everyday.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 8

2006-04-26T10:46:00.000-05:00

April 25, 2006 Tuesday
Weight= 118lbs

Weather sucked today! With the low temperature of 36 F, it was unacceptable by any standards!

Enema is one thing that I look forward to everyday now. Everything else is the same, fruit juice, veggie juice… argg Boring with the capital B.

My new flat screen monitor and cordless keyboard arrived today. Yippy! I connected my laptop to flat screen and set the monitors to span, I felt like a pro!

I was not feeling hungry the whole day, but to deal with the thought of food was quite challenging. Crepes pooped out in my head from nowhere, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind since then. I started to read about crepe recipes and check out crepe pictures. I have misunderstood that French cuisine is complicated. Apparently crepes aren’t so hard to make. Check out these crepe recipes.

I thought of Poulet Dijonnaise aux Champignons at Petit Paris. Mm… those yummy yummy crepes. Too much white wine could make that dish too bitter for my taste though. Gotta remind them next time.

My favorite restaurant in town is still Mohan Delights. I didn’t know how to appreciate its absolutely wholesome foods when I just came to FF. The food is prepared in the traditional Ayurvedic way. It's the kind of food that tastes like moms and that I will never get tired of.

At night, Vietnamese Pho came to my mind. Oh gosh, I have a long battle ahead of me.

I have always been supportive of Karan’s wishes of learning martial arts because I am fascinated by all different kind of martial arts myself. It’s too bad that Fairfield doesn’t offer many options.

Karan joined Brazilian jiu-jitsu class today. Well, it seemed like his dream has come through (although his favorites are still Chinese Wu Shu like Long Fist, Taiji Sword, Sourthen styles, etc.) He already started making threats that I would be his training bag. Thank goodness that my couple years of Taekwando training always comes in handy when handling some cruel abuses from him.

There’s always chaos in the house. Karan and Kai wrestle everyday. Of course I am always happy to let them handle their business. I thought after joining the jiu-jitsu class, the situation would get worse. However, when Karan came back from his first class today I knew that this jiu-jitsu class was a blessing. He was so tired and bruised up that he had no energy to torture Kai and I. Hahaha.

p/s: I am trashing Karan with love.

My Fasting Journal - Day 7

2006-04-25T10:07:00.000-05:00

April 24, 2006 Monday
Weight= 119lbs

Look who made herself comfortable
in my garden today

I gave myself an awful enema today. I was rushing in the morning and didn’t pay close attention to the water temperature. So, the water was heated to a few degrees higher than the body temperature. My stomach didn’t like it one bit. While my stomach was experiencing discomfort, I finished the enema nonetheless. I will definitely be more careful next time.

I had sharper, clearer mind than ever this morning. I was able to stay extremely focused during the phone conference and I really enjoyed my efficiency working at Overland in the afternoon.

My tongue felt dry. I had to scrap my tongue a few times throughout the day to get rid of the toxins.

Around 5pm, I felt a bit sleepy. I was not sure if it was the warm weather thing or if I have used up my energy.

Kitty loved to pose

Karan and I took Kai to the park in the evening. It was not exactly the most pleasant walk. I got upset at Karan on something. Here are a few tips to all the ladies: after giving a million and one the most straight forward "hints" to your hopeless insensitive guy on how you feel and how you wanted to be treated, and he still acts like as if you are transparent; try shouting in his face in one sentence on what you want to communicate to him. If that doesn’t work, repeat this process as many times as you like until he gets that you are truly upset.

Or, go buy a dog training manual. Whatever that works on dogs, it will work on your man.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 6

2006-04-24T11:27:00.000-05:00

April 23, 2006 Sunday
Weight= 119lbs

Today was my first day of juice fast. I felt excited, because it was a change from the fruit and veggie salads. Changes give excitement to life. Once in a while, I love to move the furniture in the house around, just to keep things different.

All the juices that I had today were strained using a very fine coffee strainer. My stomach’s hunger mechanism was shutting down, so the last thing I would do was to drop a food particle in the stomach and make it to start working again. If it started to work, then I would feel hungry. Oh no!

I couldn’t have any water, because by drinking water anytime I like, I would make my stomach work more instead of spending time to detoxify. But all the juices that I drank were sufficient because throughout the day I had eight glasses of liquid.

I had my homemade veggie broth that was rich in potassium first thing in the morning. Of course, couldn’t leave my liquid vitamin B behind. Then, I gave myself an enema. I had to hold the water in for at least five minutes. I have learned that there are lots of old junk in our stomachs that got harden around the colons over times. As you can imagine, then, nutrition can’t be absorbed fully, toxins stay in, and many problems will follow especially when we get older.

Again, some junk came out of my body system after the enema. I couldn’t wait to see what would come out tomorrow after a day’s of juice fast.

A good way to start a day

I made Karan a nice Sunday brunch. I chose to make him meals when I like to, during the fast. When I had some images of food in my mind, I took them out by cooking. Does this make sense? Well, I felt good at the end (so did Karan), so I wouldn’t over-analyze how I could cook without taking a single bite during the fast.

As for my lunch, I juiced myself a glass of fresh fruit juice. I could feel that my body was singing joyously when the divine juice ran down my throat. Ever had food so healthy that you could feel your body craves for more?

I worked in the garden whole afternoon. I was not particularly tired.

I reminded myself to take a break to have tea in the afternoon.

Quite a few people stopped by at my garden today. Radim and Clara came to check on my garden to see if it has poison ivy. They biked here. I have never biked much. I lived in a city, and my mom didn’t allow us to have a bicycle because it was dangerous to bike around, according to her. I didn’t learn how to bike, until I was in college; self-taught. I just think that so often, when we were small, we were told not to do this, not to do that. When we grow older, we start realize what we really want. I am really trying to remove my self-conscious layer. Most of the people see me as a delicate lady, as a matter of fact, I am quite the opposite. Arghh.. mumbo jumbo, random thoughts.

Yummy oriental stir-fry

For dinner, I had fresh veggie juice that I special ordered from Econofoods. I was lazy to warm the juice up. I get a stomach cramp from drinking the cold juice. Karan get a healthy portion of Oriental stir-fry veggies with rice.

I watched an excellent movie: Domino. I just loved the way the movie was shot and edited. Amazing!

I had another glass of hot tea in the evening and a glass of potassium broth before I went to bed.

Not bad for day 6. Hurray.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 5

2006-04-23T10:05:00.000-05:00

April 22, 2006 Saturday
Weight= 120lbs

First thing in the morning, I was excited to do the first enema in my life. I was expecting something messy and disgusting. To my surprise, it wasn’t like that at all. The whole process was a breeze. Thanks to Francis’s instructions.

What came out from my stomach? I didn’t expect much actually since I haven’t been eating much. But the amount of “things” that came out really surprised me. I would imagine our stomachs are like the dirtiest toilets. I would skip the rest of the glory details.

I couldn’t wait to do enema again tomorrow!

After the enema, I felt weak.

I quickly had a glass of hot tea to warm my stomach up.

Yummy porridge made me home sick

I cooked Karan a bowl of porridge for lunch. Porridge, Mmm.. what a comfort food. I was definitely missing home. I had my last bowl of fruit salad today because the juice fast starts tomorrow. I enjoyed each and every piece of the fruits.

Karan and I had lunch outside at our garden. It was such a beautiful day. I felt totally contented to have this simple life. I am glad that I am not one of those people who live in the big city having 80 hours work week, work to their bones, only to fill themselves with self-rage and resentment.

Kai is definitely a lucky pet. He received a premium grooming package today: hair brushing, ear cleaning, bath and teeth cleaning – from Karan. The bath was more like a battle of the century between Karan and Kai, haha.

I definitely felt weak and much more light-headed today.

Karan, Kai and I meditated together today on the sofa. I came out from the meditation first, and had a smile on my face when I looked at Karan on my right, still meditating, and Kai, sleeping like a baby on my left. I felt truly happy and blessed.

My neck was getting better.

Watched the movie “Seeing Other People”. It was not exactly a great movie, for me. Not much insight.

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My Fasting Journal - Day 4

2006-04-22T18:41:00.000-05:00

4/21/2006 Friday
Weight= 121 lbs

I woke up this morning feeling moody. Soon after, I had a small argument with Karan about nothing.

After a short walk, I felt better and definitely agreed that it is very important to have a positive attitude towards everything.

I still had my irritating red neck. Hey, no big deal, it shouldn’t stop me from doing anything. I went out to run some errands and then stopped by Econofoods. I wanted to make a good lunch for Karan.

His lunch

Preparing a good meal is very therapeutic. I made grilled chicken wrap for Karan. I put in extra attention in the cooking process since I couldn’t taste the food to make sure the flavors were alright. After a few days of fast, I felt I gained more awareness in preparing the food. I put in so much love. Knowing that Karan enjoyed the food, I felt satisfied. It was as if I made the lunch for my own satisfaction. But lucky Karan get to eat the food.

Her lunch

I made myself a glass of smoothie for lunch. Francis didn’t tell me that I could puree all the fruits, but I thought it was all the same after the fruits went into my stomach.

Watched a beautiful Hindi movie, Pardes (without subtitles… Monika translated the whole movie for me. Hehe).

No doubt that Shahrukh Khan is an excellent actor who stars in just about two billons Hindi movies. I worry that if one day Shahrukh disappears, Bollywood would collapse.

I was sick of my red neck. I bought an enema kit and decided to do my first enema tomorrow to give toxins another option of coming out. Oo… how exciting!

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My Fasting Journal– Day 3

2006-04-21T15:48:00.000-05:00

4/20/2006 Thursday
Weight= 122 lbs

I had an okay sleep last night. I woke up in the middle of the night to find out that my hand was on my neck, scratching. The skin of my neck felt rough, and I think it would take a while for it to heal. Arh! When can I go to the pool again? I don’t want to freak people out and got kicked out of the pool.

Very inspiring red neck

Karan said my face looked black, and my “red neck” was disgusting. Boy, was I longing for those uplifting words. He said I should take a picture of my neck, because it looked inspiring. If anyone needs some salt on his wound, he can always count on Karan.

I love mornings! I can’t get enough of the fresh, cool air. The birds sing joyously to celebrate the beginning of the day. It’s a waste of time to get up late in spring and summer (or anytime of the year, of course).

This was the 3rd day of my fast, although I felt like it has been 30 days. However, the thought of food has appeared less in my mind. I felt calmer and more relaxed.

Francis gave me a few tips on how to make the fruit salad tastier (puree some of the cut fruits and pour it back to the fruits) and he said that I have not been eating enough (that was why the zero discharge yesterday). You know, there were only so much fruits that I could eat before I lost my appetite on them. Anyway, today’s fruit salad was the yummiest!

There was nothing eventful in the afternoon, work and only work. I felt a bit hungry (but not light-headed), what’s new, it didn’t matter any more, I’ve get used to it. There are bigger and more important things in life than food (see, I am already getting more and more enlightened, maybe the purpose of this fast is to break away my obsession with food).

For dinner, I get creative. I chopped the veggies using the food processor, then pureed tomatoes, cilantro, garlic, ginger, a few slices of avocado (avocado is full of vitamins, but I didn’t think the oil in it would be good for fasting, but hey, it was raw, and I was dying for something tastier), and a few tablespoon of fresh lemon juice. The puree was almost like guacamole; except there was no salt added. Also, I substituted jalapeño with ginger. I poured this puree over my chopped veggies. This salad was the bomb! Although after eating half bowl of it, I felt like giving up my fast, but hey.. no complaints when I thought of the veggie salad that I made on my first day fast.

My neck was not getting any better. In fact, the rashes have crept up to my chin. I was not freaking out because I had these rashes before, in a much more serious way. It happened when I did my body cleansing by drinking lots of tea. Does this mean that my body has lots of toxins and the detoxification has already started? I wasn’t sure. One thing that I was sure of was MY NECK FELT REALLY ITCHY! Oh man, I could tolerate some pain, but this itch was absolutely annoying! Not to mention, the rashes didn’t look very pleasant.

Oh… Where was my strength?

Survivor show came to help at the right time. If Bruce could tolerate his stomach pain, hey, forget about my little rashes. My boyfriend has always complained about my silly shows. What he didn’t know was I did learn something from every show that I watched (so much for my justification). What did he learn from watching his boxing shows?

Off to bed now. I pray that I don’t wake up with a melon neck.

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My Fasting Journal – Day 2

2006-04-19T20:28:00.000-05:00

4/19/2006 Wednesday
Weight= 123 lbs

I thought I wouldn’t get a good night sleep last night with my empty stomach, but surprisingly I did. It was one of the best nights!

Usual morning routines; stretched, fed the dog, walked the dog, then had some warm water (didn’t feel like tea today).

I got “red neck”! I tried my best not to scratch it, although I was doing a good job, the neck was still red. Arghh. What the heck. I would just ignore it.

I logged on to work.

Lunch time! I was looking forward to my fruit salad after last night’s yucky veggie salad. Hmm… strawberries and sweet pears, never been so satisfying just eating fruits. I ate until I was so sick of the fruits (about a bowl).

For my boyfriend, I volunteered to cook him some noodles with eggs and bean sprouts. It smelled so delicious but I resisted the temptation of taking that bowl of noodles and ran to a corner and hogged on it. Wow. What a thought.

Worked in the afternoon. Took a short nap. Had a glass of hot Kombucha tea.

My Garden

Around 5pm, I took out the new grass trimmer from the box, fueled it, and it took me 15 minutes to start it. I hired someone to mow the lawn last year. For this year, I’ve seeded my garden and have done some landscaping to it. I felt I would have to pay big bucks to convince anyone to mow my garden. My instructions would drive anyone crazy. So, I’ve decided to do it myself (or better, let my boyfriend does it).

Aiyaya, I trimmed the edges of my landscaped yard (somehow I felt like a star in Texas Chainsaw Massacre),

Strawberry plant

and I thought I could use the grass trimmer to mow the lawn, well, unless you are a super muscle man, works out 7 days a week in the gym, I don’t recommend you to mow the lawn with a trimmer. After one hour of holding that heavy trimmer, I couldn’t feel my arms anymore. Gotta get a mower.

Dinner time. Today, I added tomatoes, freshly chopped garlic and ginger to my salad. Hmm.. The salad tasted a little bit better than yesterday’s. The spicy ginger gave me a kick. And the garlic, hmm.. I just love my breath.

For dinner, my heartless boyfriend sat next to me, and ate one of my favorite foods, Taco John’s grilled chicken burrito with freshly pureed jalapeño sauce. I sure was trying to concentrate on watching Amazing Race, than fighting the thought of snatching that burrito from his hand and smashing it on his face, then smeared it all over.
Watched a pretty interesting movie: The Squid and the Whale. It was about a family meltdown, and the impact on the children. Having divorced or separated parents is pretty common here in the states. In Asia, it would be difficult for anyone to come up with even couple names whom have divorced parents. I am not sure I will ever get married, but if I do get married and am blessed with kids in the future, I will do all I can to make sure my kids grow up happy.

Second day of fasting, done! Did I have thoughts of giving up, oh yeah! But I didn’t feel like letting all the stomach worms declare victory yet.

p/s: No discharge in the bathroom today. Hmm….

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My Fasting Journal – Day 1

2006-04-19T20:26:00.000-05:00

4/18/2006 Tuesday
Weight= 125 lbs

Today was the first day of my fast. I woke up at 8am, feeling great and excited!

I stretched for a few minutes and then took my dog for a short walk.

I only had a glass of hot lemon ginger tea in the morning, and I felt fine. For lunch, I cut myself some fresh fruits. The fruits were delicious. My body was alright, but this new routine has definitely confused my mind. I felt a little bit freaked out inside, that I didn’t have my usual lunch that consists of either rice, noodles or sandwich, etc (no protein, no carbs, ).

I calmed my mind down by going outside for some fresh air and took some pictures of spring. Nature worked its magic, my spirit was up.

In the afternoon, I worked on a small photo shoot at home. In the middle of the afternoon, I felt a bit light-headed and have to force myself to stop working and have a glass of hot tea. I experienced a light loose stomach; it was probably from the fruits that I’ve taken. The acidity of apples was cleaning my stomach.

Around 6pm, I was hungry! The raw veggie salad sucked! Asians are never big on salads. Not to mention without any dressing. My favorite foods kept popping out in my mind (noodles, tomatoes with fried eggs, Thai red curry), and all seemed double triple tasty. Karan told me that he would be having dinner at Noodle House, that didn’t help much! What did I get myself into? Fast?? I thought too highly of myself!

DENY DENY, deny the voice of I CAN’T!

Again, my body was fine, not dying or anything. But my mind kept doubting myself, and kept tempting me with food (oh boy, I am an above average food lover; I love to cook and eat). There was a part of me that held on, told me that I CAN go through this.

I was starting to learn how to control my mind, a little bit.

It’s the end of the first day of my fast, hey, not bad; I won a few mind battles.

p/s: Rashes appeared on my neck, kinda itchy. Is it skin allergy? Or the toxin has already started coming out? I don’t know. All I know is #$#%^#, fasting is already not easy, now I have to fight with this itch….

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My Fasting Journal – Day 0

2006-04-19T20:21:00.000-05:00

4/17/2006 Monday

I have mixed feeling about fasting. First of all, I have had bad experience in fasting before. It was a 3-day fast that I learned from an internet site, it totally sucked! I was so depressed before the end of the third day that I gave up. Second, I love all kind of good food, how am I going to go through 30 days of fasting without my beloved food (imagine Emeril giving up food for two months)? Third, the term “Strong Will” doesn’t appear in my dictionary.

I am not overweight (although it would be good to lose a few pounds). As I am learning more and more about healthy lifestyle and the benefits of organic foods, I feel the need to detoxify a lifetime of accumulated chemical toxins and abuse. I lived in Asia for 22 years before I moved to the States. I’ve consumed quite a lot of MSG (it’s common that Asians use MSG in cooking), seafood and pork. I am worried that all these accumulated toxins would explode one day in the form of cancer or tumor.

Passion, I always have it in my life, but I am thirsty for more. I am not satisfied for living far below my potential. I dream of that total explosion of passion, and drive, to achieve the goals I set. I want to be the person who uses everyday to the fullness. I want to have clearer, calmer mind, and enjoy that serenity from within.

It seems like my age always go ahead of my maturity. I am 30 and have just started another chapter of my life. It’s only appropriate that I start my life with a “new, purified” body, like a rebirth. I plan to do a 30 days fast. Five days of veggie and fruits fast to safely going into the fast, twenty days of juice fast and five days coming out of the fast. This will be my first long fast, I am not sure how I would feel. If I feel I can go longer after 30 days, I plan to extend the fast. I hope this fast would help me reach a higher level of maturity. Also, I am eager to renew my spirit and to gain higher consciousness towards life.

Good luck to me!

p/s: Thanks to my friend Francis Ikingi, who shared with me his experience in fasting. He fasted each year religiously for the past four years. He inspired me (with the clear description of the junk that came out from this stomach during the fast) to do this fast. I dedicate this fast to my beloved family in Malaysia.

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